POSITIVITY
  • Mission
    • Curriculum
    • Case Studies
    • Video Clips
  • Workshops
  • Resources
    • Blog
    • Minicourses >
      • Vlog
    • Podcast >
      • Hashtag Positivity Podcast
      • On A Positive Note Podcast
      • It's the Climb Podcast
    • Books
    • Shop
    • Quotes
    • Principles of Happiness
  • Connect

CONFIDENCE

11/12/2018

0 Comments

 
"One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation." — Arthur Ashe
For many people a lack of confidence is the primary cause for what’s holding them back from growing into who they might be. And there are logical reasons for this, the chief of which is that it’s all too easy to lose confidence if we’re not intentional about our growth and development.
 
In the book Body Magic by John Fisher there’s an activity that highlights just how easy it is to lose confidence, while also providing a suggestion for how to build it back up. This activity uses two sets of anagram cards, with three cards in each set.
 
People are divided into two different groups. Group A gets one set of anagram cards, and Group B gets another set. The idea is to challenge each group to see which group can solve the puzzles the fastest.
 
If I was working with you in a workshop setting I’d just have us all play the game together, but for the sake of explanation I’ll just tell you the outcome: Group A wins every time.
 
This outcome has nothing to do with Group B’s ability; rather, it has everything to do with the fact that the cards were stacked against them.
 
The first two words in Group A’s set were TAB and LEMON—easy to solve anagrams. The first two words in Group B’s set were WHIRL and SLAPSTICK—which are impossible anagrams. Group B could not solve their anagrams because there was nothing to solve! Having failed twice, this group gets stuck in a groove where failure becomes preconditioned, whether they are conscious of this or not.
 
When the third and final puzzle comes around, what the players don’t realize is that both words are the same. That is, both groups A and B are given the same word: CINERAMA. Because Group B has been preconditioned to failure they presume failure is inevitable and don’t exert as much effort, while Group A is able to solve the puzzle with little effort because they had been preconditioned to succeed.
 
Even though just seconds before this experiment began the people in Group B would have likely been able to solve the third puzzle with little to no difficulty at all, in only a matter of seconds their confidence was zapped preventing them from succeeding at even a simple task. That’s how easy it is to lose confidence.
 
This is the same kind of conditioning we find in our everyday lives when we allow difficulties and disappointments to keep us from moving forward with our positive changes, innovations, hopes, and dreams, whatever they may be. Yet all we have to do is get out of the groove that expects failure and instead get into a groove that expects success, by setting ourselves up with quick wins through reachable goals.
 
A simple strategy for building confidence is to ask the question “How Can I?” instead of asking the question “Can I?”
 
The questions sound similar but they have a clear difference: “Can I” contains inherent doubt, undermining our efforts before we even begin, while the question “How Can I” assumes that there is a way and we just need to find it. 
 
REFLECTION
  1. What area of you life are you most confident? What do you think are the causes of this confidence?
  2. What area of your life are you lacking in confidence? What can you learn from your strengths to apply to this area to set a new groove where success can become presumed?
  3. What “quick win” can you give yourself this week that will make a meaningful contribution to your growth and development?
0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Picture
    JONAS CAIN, M.Ed.

    Facilitator

    Jonas Cain, M.Ed. is a storyteller, magician, musician, and facilitator of fascination on a mission to help you experience abiding joy.
    ​
    ​
    Connect with Jonas today to discuss your challenges, goals, and obstacles.

    Picture

    Magic Words

    All
    Acceptance
    Action
    Adapt
    Adventure
    Affirmation
    Ally
    April Fools
    Atonement
    Attention
    Authenticity
    Balance
    Banner
    Beautiful
    Behavior
    Belief
    Birthday
    Boat
    Books
    Boundaries
    Breathe
    Care
    Celebration
    Challenge
    Change
    Character
    Cheese
    Choice
    Clarity
    Climb
    Commitment
    Communication
    Compassion
    Compliant
    Confidence
    Connection
    Courage
    Creativity
    Discernment
    Discovery
    Disruption
    Dominant
    Doubt
    Dream
    Education
    Empower
    Encourage
    Engage
    Enjoy
    Enjoyment
    Enthusiasm
    Excel
    Excellence
    Explore
    Facilitate
    Fascination
    Fear
    Focus
    Forgiveness
    Friendship
    Gap
    Generosity
    Gentle
    Grand
    Gratitude
    Growth
    Happiness
    Health
    Hermit
    Honor
    Hope
    Humility
    Humor
    Independence
    Influence
    Influencing
    Initiative
    Inspiration
    Integrity
    Interest
    Invention
    Invest
    Journey
    Joy
    Kindness
    Lane
    Laughter
    Leadership
    Legacy
    Listen
    Live
    Love
    Magic
    Mentor
    Mindfulness
    Mindset
    Momentum
    Motion
    Motivation
    Necessity
    Opportunity
    Passion
    Pathway
    Patience
    Perseverance
    Persistence
    Perspective
    Play
    Positivity
    Possibility
    Preparation
    Presence
    Prize
    Process
    Purpose
    Quantify
    Recognition
    Reflection
    Relationships
    Relax
    Remembrance
    Repentance
    Resilience
    Resolution
    Resources
    Respect
    Responsibility
    Reward
    Sacrifice
    Sail
    Smile
    Stasis
    Steady
    Storm
    Summit
    Support
    Surprise
    Talent
    Teamwork
    Thanksgiving
    Ticket
    Time
    Today
    Tools
    Transformation
    Trust
    Understand
    Value
    Vision
    Wind
    Wonder

    Picture

    Archives

    May 2023
    April 2023
    March 2023
    February 2023
    January 2023
    December 2022
    November 2022
    October 2022
    September 2022
    August 2022
    July 2022
    June 2022
    May 2022
    April 2022
    March 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    December 2021
    November 2021
    October 2021
    September 2021
    August 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017

Picture

800-969-9778
​
jonas@hashtagpositivity.com

#POSITIVITY

MISSION | SERVICES | RESOURCES | CONNECT

© 2023
  • Mission
    • Curriculum
    • Case Studies
    • Video Clips
  • Workshops
  • Resources
    • Blog
    • Minicourses >
      • Vlog
    • Podcast >
      • Hashtag Positivity Podcast
      • On A Positive Note Podcast
      • It's the Climb Podcast
    • Books
    • Shop
    • Quotes
    • Principles of Happiness
  • Connect