BEHAVIOR

"Behavior represents your ability to manage the relationship between external and internal influences." — Jonas Cain

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Kyle has an incredible imagination. 

One day you might find him glancing at his pocket watch like a proper British gentleman announcing, “I do believe it’s snack time.”

And then the next day you might find him flipping over desks to serve as a barricade, like a cowboy taking his last stand against the law. “You’ll never take me alive!”

Working in special education can be rewarding, exciting, and sometimes scary, but while some of my colleagues exhibited fear around Kyle, I had worked with him enough to recognize his behavior patterns and knew how to interact with him respectfully and productively to influence his attention so as not to hurt anyone during his “cowboy” moments.

Sure, he had a wild imagination and could perhaps sometimes take his play a bit far, yet his larger-than-life influencing behavior style was also tempered by a compliant behavior style that respected order and correct responses to a self-prescribed script. 

On that day when he took his last stand against the law, in order to help usher the other students out of the classroom, I had to walk directly passed him—despite his insistence that he would take on anyone who came near. But I knew Kyle, had seen these patterns before, and knew how to interact with him to get what I wanted.

As I approached the door he was barricaded in front of, I simply said, “Pardon me sir, I have to step out for a moment.”

To which Kyle replied, “Absolutely, Mr. Jonas,” and then he calmly stepped aside before returning to his outlaw stance against the other teachers who still hadn’t learned how to work with him.

This tactic worked for Kyle because it spoke to his motivations, fears, and internal dialogue. Rather than fighting against his disruptive actions, I looked him straight in the eye and worked within his narrative, and having his worldview respected, he was happy to work with me rather than against me.

Knowing how to recognize key behavior patterns and understanding how to communicate with people who exhibit those patterns is a valuable skill for anyone who works closely with others—whether in a classroom, boardroom, theatre, or anywhere in between.

Though I left that school a decade ago to pursue the next steps in my career development, the memories and tangible skills gained while working with students like Kyle carry with me and inform my continued work as an educator, facilitator, and coach. 

Reflection
What has been your experience with recognizing and working with the behaviors of the people you seek to influence? What’s working well and what might benefit from improvement?

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#POSITIVITY can help you and the people you lead recognize, harness, and experience joy in your work, life, and community. Schedule your free consultation today.