AFFIRMATION

"Success is a process, a quality of mind and way of being, an outgoing affirmation of life." — Alex Noble

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A popular saying suggests that when we make a living doing what we love we’ll never have to work a day in our life. What this points to is the difference between process goals and outcome goals:

• When we place our happiness in the process of our work, we take control of our lives—taking pleasure in the mere act of partaking in the activity.
• When we place our happiness in the outcome of our work, we release control of our lives—only finding happiness when things go as planned.

In other words, we can control how we tend the garden, but we cannot control what blooms there.

When we find ourselves able to do what we love—with just the right amount of opportunities, resources, and support—it is then that we achieve The 4th Level of Happiness: AFFIRMATION

We receive positive affirmation when we are rewarded for our fascinating, inspired, and motivated actions; when we take pleasure in the simple act of being alive and making a positive impact in our world.

What we rarely talk about, though, is that we can also receive negative rewards for being frustrated, confused, and discouraged:

Negative affirmation is when we receive rewards in the form of sympathy and pity parties, and the unfortunate truth is that a victim mentality is hard to kick when misery loves company and we find ourselves sucked into the frustrating loop where we commiserate with others who are just as frustrated.

The fortunate news, though, is that we can break free from this cycle.

HOW?
Moving from negative affirmation to positive affirmation is simple: We do it when we hurt enough that we have to change, when we learn enough that we want to change, and when we receive enough that we are able to change.

REFLECTION

• What engaging opportunities are requiring you to change because of the pain they kindle?
• What empowering learning resources do you need to help you to want to change?
• What encouraging support do you need to be able to change?