Making someone feel loved

The word text and the word textile derive from the same Latin word texere, meaning “to weave.” This perhaps explains where we get the expression “spin a yarn” as another way of saying “tell a story.” 

If this is true, then allow me to spin a yarn for you now:

It’s said you only live once. This is usually coupled with encouragement to make the most of every day, because tomorrow’s never promised. 

This statement sounds true, but there are those who would suggest it isn’t entirely true. They would say: “You live every day. You only die once.”

This contrary perspective is another way of looking at the same trope of encouragement: Every day is a good day to start again and be what you might become. 

But Ali is proof that even this statement is not always true. She died last summer.

Twice.

And lived to tell the tale.

Within seconds of her heart stopping from septic shock, Ali stopped breathing and lost consciousness. By a miracle of modern medicine, doctors were able to restart her heart and restore blood flow.

Then she died again. 

After being revived (again) she spent the next month in a coma.

When she finally awoke, the chronic pain from scoliosis, bone spurs, and five herniated discs made the healing journey an uphill battle. 

I first met Ali Lagrant at Palmer High School when I was 16 years old. Of course, at the time, I knew her as Alison Vermouth, and we bonded over our similar interests: I was in the band, she was in the chorus, and we were both in the drama club. After high school, we lost touch, and it was another seven years later that we randomly ran into each other, at the now defunct Eastfield Mall.

As I walked through the mall, I noticed a young woman who looked strikingly familiar. When she looked at me with that knowing smile—that I too looked strikingly familiar—I knew the familiarity must certainly be mutual. 

It was Alison Vermouth!

We exchanged numbers and promised each other we would get together soon to catch up. People say that, but how often do we mean it? Apparently we both meant it, because within a week I was at her house, and she let me borrow her copy of Wicked on the condition that I return it. I assured her I would, but then I never saw her again and have no idea where the book is. That was seventeen years ago.

Even though it’s been nearly two decades since we last saw each other, we’ve remained connected on social media, and just recently she reached out to me for some help. The treatment that would make the pain manageable comes with copays that are out of reach until she’s gainfully employed again, but to become gainfully employed she needs the treatment (but to get the treatment she needs to be gainfully employed), but to be gainfully employed she needs the treatment—and the cycle continues.

Ali is currently not able to work a typical job until she gets back on her feet, so she started a Go Fund Me to raise funds to cover the various medical expenses. In the meantime, Ali works with her hands, crocheting and designing clothes and accessories. It’s a start, and something that keeps her hands and mind busy, spinning her own “yarn.”

On top of the physical issues, this experience has left her feeling lonely and sad. Ali recently confided in me: “I need to feel loved for real.”

How do you show someone you love them? How do you show someone you care? 

I believe it’s really quite simple.

It’s been said that we should be kind whenever possible, and that it is always possible. And so, I am doing my part to help Ali feel loved for real, by doing what I can—by spinning this yarn in the hopes that you (yes, You…the one reading this now) would be so moved to do one of these things:

1) Consider sending Ali Lagrant well-wishes or perhaps a get-well card. After all, a single kind word while we’re alive is far better than a bushel of flowers when we’re gone. You can send well wishes to her directly here: PO Box 3037 Holiday FL, 34692

2) Consider purchasing one of Ali’s crochet creations. You can contact her on facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/ali.lagrant 

3) Consider making a donation to Ali’s medical expenses here: https://gofund.me/ee980051 

If nothing else, keep Ali in your prayers. When we share loving kindness with one person, we share it with everyone. Doing any of these things would be wicked nice of you. Which reminds me, I need to find a copy of Wicked to make good on an old promise.

After all, every day is a good day to start again and be what you might become.