Vibrato of Gratitude

Gratitude stores memories in the heart rather than the mind.

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The first time he told the joke, everyone laughed, and seeing how much they enjoyed it, he told it again—but by then it only got a few chuckles.

And when he told the same joke a third time, no one was laughing anymore. It seems the joy had simply worn off.

This story is attributed to the actor and filmmaker Charlie Chaplin, and whether or not it’s true, what certainly is true is the sentiment of the words he supposedly said afterwards: 

“If you can't laugh and laugh at the same joke, why do you cry and cry at the same pain and sorrow?”

Enough is Enough
A possible answer can be found in a suggestion by Aesop, the ancient Greek storyteller, who once said: “Gratitude turns what we have into enough.” 

If this is true, then it can perhaps explain why we stop laughing after hearing the same joke: We simply had enough of it.

And this may also explain why we cry and cry over the same sorrows: We don’t believe we’ve had enough, preventing us from appreciating what’s already been given—both materially and experientially. 

Gone, But Not Forgotten
I’m reminded of the time I accidentally let go of my Bert and Ernie balloon at the Fourth of July fireworks. I cried and cried and cried, watching the Sesame Street duo disappear into the night’s sky, with the rocket’s red glare and the bombs bursting in air—which gave proof through the night that I’d never see them again. 

As a four-year-old child, my mind couldn’t reconcile the fact that it was just a mylar balloon. For me, the balloon was Bert and Ernie—and to see them reach such a fate was simply too much. 

It wasn’t about the lost balloon; rather, it was the thought of the affable duo being lost forever. By that time, I had already experienced the death of our beloved family dog, Pj, and to see these friends reach a similar fate brought great sorrow and pain. 

Vibrato of Gratitude
With the gift of time, however, I’ve come to appreciate the sentiment of the vibraphonist Lionel Hampton, who once suggested: “Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind.”

It’s no wonder these words come from a vibraphonist, an instrument that features a pulsating change of pitch—created by a set of electronic fans that rapidly open and close the resonators of a xylophone.

The experience of vibrato is determined by both the density and frequency of change: It could be deep or shallow and it could be fast or slow. And the same could be said of our experience of gratitude: How deep is our gratitude? And how often do we experience it?

The Choice is Yours to Make
Regardless of what we achieve and regardless of what we gain, everything is temporary, in a constant state of vibrato—whether deep or shallow and whether fast or slow. And how we choose to experience this vibrato is completely up to us: 

We can choose to store our memories in our mind, focusing on what we have lost when the resonators are closed; or, we can choose to store memories in our heart, and focus on the reverberation of happy memories when the resonators are opened. 

The choice is yours to make, and time is yours to take—after all, to live is to fly, both the low and high.

The Same Punchline
Crying over the same sorrow can be as pointless as laughing at the same joke. Which reminds me:

Q: Why shouldn't you draw a circle?
A: It’s pointless!

Q: Why shouldn't you draw a circle with a broken pencil?
A: It’s pointless!

Q: Why shouldn’t you tell jokes with the same punchline?
A: It’s pointless!

It’s all pointless, so to help us “fly home” with the gratitude of enough—like the famous Lionel Hampton tune and like Bert and Ernie on that fateful Fourth of July evening—we can consider the words attributed to Charlie Chaplin who said you mind as well choose to “enjoy every moment of your life,” whether while in laughter or in tears.

Reflection
How deep is your gratitude? How often do you experience it?

Your Next Step
As a storyteller, magician, musician, and facilitator of fascination, my mission is to help individuals, teams, and communities experience abiding joy. You can get started today by accepting your invitation to Grow with the Flow, a self-paced personal growth journey.

With Joy --
Jonas

P.S. If you’d like to work together, here’s how:

• Buy a book.
• Join Grow with the Flow.
• Attend a virtual workshop.
• Book me to speak with your group.